Wonder Woman What-the?

linda carter wonder woman            Gal_Gadot_as_Wonder_Woman

I have a bone to pick with DC Comic’s newest Wonder Woman. I’ve been a fan of Wonder Woman since Linda Carter first removed her eyeglasses and spun in the 1970’s. In her trademark bun, she would begin twirling when there was trouble nearby and end with luscious locks, gold cuffs, and a crown. Diana Prince became Diana, an Amazonian Princess from the Island of Women—what could be better?

When I was little, I wore Wonder Woman Underroos; blue panty briefs and a red tank top featuring Superhero insignias. My brother, Rick, wore Superman, and together we made up the Justice League, which basically involved us spying on our older brothers and eating PB and J. Since then, I’ve been a fan of Superhero movies.

I admit being disappointed in Batman vs. Superman that sloshed onto the dark screen in 2016—who wasn’t? I was nevertheless, excited over the appearance of my childhood idle played by Gal Gadot—who better? Her first name is Gal, no less!

Here’s where my disenchantment grows exponentially, however. Picture Wonder Woman, storming in to save the day wearing…a micro-mini and molded metal breastplate. What the? I almost checked my watch to see what year it was!

A flurry of questions followed: What is she supposed to be? Amazon Warrior Princess who fights injustice and then flies off to participate in the Swim Suit Competition in a 1950’s Beauty Pageant? Why isn’t she updated? Or rather, updated better? Isn’t she supposedly in the present?

It doesn’t add up. So, Diana Prince renovates her entire wardrobe, except for when doing hard-core cardio, pounding the crap out of bad guys? Really? She’s intelligent, beautiful, talented, and computer savvy. She’s able to blend in with modern people and modern culture, except for when in combat. Huh? I think Diana Prince is too smart for that. I also believe the audience is, too.

Instead of a corset-ballet wrap-cape combo, she’d wear yoga pants, a sports bra, and hoodie. She’d put aside her red knee-high, high-heeled boots and go for red high tops. A modern Wonder Woman would ditch the gold bracelets and opt for kickboxing hand wraps and an iWatch. She wouldn’t go charging into battle with beautifully curled locks; she’d tame her hair by throwing it into a ponytail so she could see what she was fighting. And she’d most certainly choose a sweatband over a gold crown, wouldn’t she? Of course, she would!

I know there are a lot more negative critiques about Batman vs. Superman out there, even still, a year later, and to fixate on what Wonder Woman was or wasn’t wearing is silly. But a new movie is coming, a Wonder Woman movie and I just keep thinking about that little girl inside me. The one who sported Wonder Woman Underoos and sat on the roof, eating PB and J, thinking she could grow up and be anything in the world. It never occurred to me that that world would have to include a Victoria’s Secret get-up.

 

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